Too close for comfort?
Am I a bad mother? An unfaithful wife? My son, Hamlet, seems to loathe me for my decision to marry his uncle (my brother-in-law). Maybe it's just the way of his generation. The children these days; they all clothe themselves in all black and resent the world. I can tell that Hamlet has become quite the rebellious type. His sarcastic and passionate remarks are not fit for a young prince. And so soon after his father's death he wants to run off to Wittenberg to study? I had to beg to him to stay, pleading, "Let not thy mother lose her prayers, Hamlet:/ I pray thee, stay with us; go not to Wittenberg" (1.2.118-119). Thankfully, the boy came to his senses and agreed to remain home. I don't know what has gotten into him these days.
I can tell how upset Hamlet is by his father's death. I can't blame the poor boy for still mourning after almost two months. He truly loved his father and this lack of a male figure in his life also led me to remarry. Claudius and I tried to reason with him, saying, "Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,/ passing through nature to eternity" (1.2.72-73) and "But, you must know, your father lost a father;/ That father lost, lost his..." (1.2.89-90), but I could see the ice hidden beneath those teary eyes. It's my nature as a mother to notice such things. His sorrow frightens me; it's quite normal to mourn the loss of a loved one, especially when the soul was as good and kind as the late King, but he seems to be taking his father's death to an extreme. Earlier today, I heard him speaking to himself, "O, that this solid flesh would melt,/ Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!/ Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd/ His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!" (1.2.129-132).
Suicide?! Oh, my dear boy! I want to do what is best for my son. I would give up my soul for my one and only child, if the need arose, but I feel so conflicted. If Hamlet truly loves his dear, old mother, shouldn't he want me to be happy as well? It's not unreasonable for me to have fallen for my husband's brother. I can tell that Claudius truly loved and cared for his brother, but he truly loves me as well. The words he spoke at our wedding, showed both his affection for me and his brother. "With mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage,/ In equal scale weighing delight and dole,-/ Taken to wife: nor have we barr'd/ Your better wisdoms, which have freely gone/ With this affair along" (1.2.12-16). Claudius has stolen my poor widowed heart. He was there for me in the time after my husband's death, giving me the attention and vows of love that I needed. I understand the corruption my son, Hamlet, sees in our hasty union. Others may view it as controversial as well, but I loved King Hamlet, and now I love King Claudius, I see no casting aside of my morals in this decision.
I know that Claudius will make a fine King for Denmark. He has already been a steady character in Hamlet's life, but I still worry that the change in his role will affect young Hamlet negatively. My heart draws me towards the charm and seduction that Claudius has to offer, but my mind and motherly instinct beckon me to support my son no matter how reckless his words may seem.
All I wish for is a happy home,
Queen Gertrude
No comments:
Post a Comment